One of the most difficult parts of life is dealing with broken relationships. Someone says something that hurts us. A disagreement becomes personal. Trust is damaged. Feelings are wounded. Sometimes we stop talking. Days become weeks, and weeks can become months or even years.
Jesus understands this part of our human experience. He knows that even among good people, there will be disagreements, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. That is why His teaching in Matthew 18:15–20 is so practical.
Jesus tells His disciples: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.” There is great wisdom in those words. Jesus does not tell us to ignore the problem or pretend everything is fine. Neither does He tell us to gossip about the person, embarrass them, or hold onto resentment.
Jesus simply says: “Go.” Go to the person. Have the conversation. Speak honestly. Listen carefully. Try to repair what has been broken. Then Jesus tells us why: “If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.”
Those words reveal the heart of this Gospel: Jesus does not ask us to win the argument. He asks us to win back the person. That can be difficult. When we have been hurt, our natural desire is often to prove that we were right. But Jesus asks us to consider something deeper: Is proving that I am right more important than restoring the relationship?
Of course, reconciliation does not mean ignoring the truth. Sometimes difficult things need to be said. Christian love does not require us to pretend that wrongdoing never happened. Rather, Jesus teaches us to hold truth and love together.
Perhaps there is tension within your family. Maybe a friendship has been damaged. Maybe brothers or sisters no longer speak. Perhaps something happened at work, in the neighborhood, or even within the parish community that still weighs upon your heart. The question Jesus places before us is not simply, “Who was right?” The deeper question is: “What can I do to restore what has been broken?”
And there is something profoundly Christian about taking that first step because this is exactly what God has done for us. Sin damaged humanity's relationship with God. Yet God did not abandon us. God made the first move. He came searching for us. He sent His Son into our world. And ultimately, Jesus stretched out His arms upon the Cross to reconcile us to the Father.
The Cross is the great sign that God's love seeks reconciliation. Whenever we sincerely try to repair a broken relationship, when we make the phone call, begin the conversation, offer an apology, extend forgiveness, or simply say, “Can we talk?”, we are imitating the reconciling love of God.
At the conclusion of this Gospel, Jesus gives us a beautiful promise: “Where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.” Christ can be present even in the difficult conversation. He can be present when two people finally sit down together. He can be present when someone says, I'm sorry or I forgive you. or I don't want this division between us anymore.
So perhaps this week, each of us could think about one relationship in our lives. Is there someone we need to call? Someone we need to listen to? Someone we need to forgive? Someone to whom we owe an apology? We may not be able to repair every relationship. Reconciliation requires openness from both people. But we can ask ourselves whether we have done what Christ is asking of us. Because Jesus does not ask us to win every argument.
He asks us to do everything we reasonably can to win back the person.